Sunday, August 3, 2008

They Know What They Are Doing

That's what I have to keep telling myself, and yet, it is not working.

Me: Nana, remember to to cut the onions really small for the sauce.
Skippy: Mom! I have made spaghetti at least ten times, I think I got it.
Me: Sorry I know you know, it's just a habit...a bad one, and I'm sorry that I keep reminding you like you have no clue. I know Aba(Cuban grandmother) does it all the time and it bothers me to no end to hear her say it and yet, I find myself doing the same darned thing.

How many of you with older children find yourself in a similar conversation. We have trained them, coached them, nurtured them, and even watched them do the things we have asked them to do and yet, we are constantly going behind them, or double checking, or reminding, or asking if they got it. We know they have, so why do we keep deflating their egos? If someone kept coming behind you asking you if you knew how to make your bed, or sweep your floors, you would eventually look them in the eye and tell them to get lost.

So why do we question our children. We do not do it on purpose, it is just a habit, but a habit I feel we need to stop.I know my daughter is very capable of many things, but I can't seem to stop questioning her. She gets the laundry done, dinner gets put on the table, so why do I keep on her back? I do not know, but I plan on trying my darnedest to stop.

If you find yourself asking your child about something they do all the time...STOP IT...they need that vote of confidence, and by not asking and double checking, you have solidified that they do indeed have the capability to do what we ask of them. No more double checking, as tough as it may be...just stop it!!


Rose Valentine said...

Ha I've always wondered that. Good post. :)

Nikki Douglas said...

My Mom is 63 and I am 39 and she still does this to me. I have just accepted it. Sort of!

William Cooney said...

Really good post. As I was reading, I had to admit: yep - many times that's me, overdoing it with the so-called guidance. Thanks for reminding me to lighten up. Our daughter really is doing just fine.