Monday, May 18, 2009

One For The Road

I do not like Dr. Phil. I think he is full of himself. But even windbags have something to say every now and then. My husband was at the gym today and Dr. Phil was on. So he read the closed caption while he listened to his music. Today's show was about DUI's. I did not get to see the show, but as my husband began to tell us what he saw on the show, I could see his blood pressure rising. There were three families on there who had lost children to drunk drivers. Then there was a former judge. And then there was your leech, I mean defense attorney for DUI's specifically. And then a Barbie doll who has had 3 offenses.

I can only remember once in my driving career (which is30 years now) that I have gotten in the cart when I should not have. After that night I knew I never wanted to do that again. I could not sit here and complain about folks who drink and rive when I had, in fact, did the very same thing. What was I thinking? I wasn't, for my judgement had been impaired. And what if I had taken someones life. That would not have been my intent. I was just hanging out with a few friends after a long days work in the parking lot. What harm was there in relaxing a little bit. LOTS!

I have grown up since then, and that is not to say I was immature, I just got really wise that night. I imagine I am one in a million. How many others are doing thee exact opposite and keep on drinking, keep on driving and are sliding under the radar...until. By then it is too late. I no longer drive with any alcohol in my system. And if my husband and both decide we want to drink somewhere, which is rare, we flip a coin. I have an occasional drink at home, so I do not feel the need to drink when we go out if he wants to let loose a bit. So the decision is easy for me.

What got me toasted (no pun intended) about this show, was the Barbie Doll who has gotten 3 DUI's and since her daddy has bookoo bucks, has gotten her off on all three charges. What happens when the next time she is drinking and driving, she, or the person she hits, is not so lucky. What then? What about the judges and lawyers who have just been giving her slaps on the wrist and letting her go on her merry way. What do you say to the parent of a dead child, when they look at this persons track record and nothing had been done about it...until. By then it is too late.

The parent of one of the dead teens told the Barbie Doll that her son had been killed, by someone most likely like her. the Barbie Doll said that she thought the .08 limit was and I quote, "Stupid." And the little miss sassy pants went on to tell the grieving mother that maybe it had not been the .09 drunk driver that had been the cause of thee accident. A hush fell over the audience. The mother then stated through clenched teeth I am guessing, that if this had been a different style show and she would have been a different style of mother, they would be going at it right now. Thee audience cheered the mother.

I believe that what goes around, comes around. You get what is due to you. Law of Attraction, if you will. Your next life. Thee after life. Take your pick. But for those who are not serving thee appropriate time for their crime will pay at some point. And even for those who do kill someone with thier vehicle they are not doing time like they should. they are serving minimal time in jail and it is a white collar jail. Let me get this straight. I pick up a gun and kill someone I am labeled a murderer and do hard time for my crime. Easy enough. But, I go have one too many, slam into an innocent person, kill them and I am someone with a social problem who is not labeled a murder. Something is definitely wrong with this picture. Murder is murder no matter the weapon. A car, gun, bat, knife, the list goes on. You can't own a gun after a murder? Then why should you ever get behind a wheel after you kill someone with your vehicle.

Driving is a privilege. You earn it. The privilege should be taken away if you abuse that right.

My uncle was killed by a drunk driver. That driver was himself. Think twice before downing that extra beer, drink or cocktail before slipping behind a wheel thinking you can handle it. No You Can't. Trust me on this one.

But I'm So Ugly

I recently heard of a conversation that took place and it was quite interesting to me. There is a young lady I know that grows her hair out all the time, just so she can donate it to Locks of Love.
This is a big thing for many, if not most of the teenage girl population I know. But this young girl has gone outside of her comfort zone and donated her hair to those less fortunate.

Locks of Love is a non-profit organization that takes hair that is donated and makes wigs for children that are victims of cancer. Now I know that some people are offended by the word victim. But let me tell you how Merriam-Webster explains victim:

One that is acted on and usually adversely affected by a force or agent: as (1) One that is injured or destroyed or sacrificed under of any various conditions

Even Merriam knows these kids are done wrong. With that said, this young lady knows that she can keep growing her hair over and over again. These children to not have that advantage. And some of them may not even get the chance to enjoy the wig that is being made for them.

I have seen people tear down what locks of love does, saying they take monies and spend them unwisely. Hell, our own government does that, I don't see them moving to another country. For the most part I applaud what this organization does. And, what they cannot use for the wig itself, is sold off to other wig companies and the money is turned back into Locks of Love for other expenditures.

What had been said from an outside party was this, (And I am paraphrasing) "After my mother cut off my hair, I realized she had cut it too short and within a few seconds, I thought how ugly I really was." Hello, you think you are ugly? How about the little girl or boy who has no hair and a good possibility of dying. And you are worried about how much hair gel or spray you are going to need to make yourself beautiful. Puh-leaze. Give me a break.

Nothing is that important that I cannot give it up to help a fellow man, and moreso one who is handling a grave disease. Kudos to the young lady who is growing her hair out for those in need. What a very adult thing to do, and unselfish at that. I know there are going to be people who say, "Well if it works for her that is all fine and dandy, but it may not be my cup of tea." Again that person is correct, but do not sit there and have the gumption to tell me how ugly you are or that you could never do it, when a child's life is hanging in the balance.

To each his own, but I applaud fervently to all those who give up something that is so precious to many a female. But bottom line, it's only hair, for us it will grow back, for those with cancer, it may very well not.

Friday, May 15, 2009

I Swear

After blogging about my daughters wonderful ability to stand on her won two feet about what she believes in, it got me to thinking. Why do we swear, curse, use foul language. My sister says because we, as adults, have earned that right. I disagree. Like I stated previously, I can stand toe to toe with the best...or worse of sailors. But I came to a decision about swearing.

I am going to swear off swearing for 30 days, just to see if I can do it. I mean I am guessing that most of us can hold on a normal conversation without having to colorize it with that sort of language. Does swearing make us feel more important, get us noticed more, make the joke funnier? Think about it. We will still talk if the swear words are taken away, I am always important, I don't know about you folks, and I can tell a joke and never let a swear word slip through my lips.

I did have 2 slip ups already. The first one was last night at dinner, but I swerved that one off to the side, but my daughter heard it and caught it as well. This morning I was in my garden, barefoot, and on the way back into the house I stepped on a dried up stem from a thorn bush. the language flew. My daughter was right beside me and I told her this was an exception to the rule. That $@!&*) thorn drew blood. We both laughed.

I am about one week into going egg free for one month and now the swearing. Dag-nab-it, I hope to succeed on both fronts. Wish me luck.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

She Stood Her Ground

There is nothing that makes a parent more proud then when all the discussions you have with your children finally pay off. You have to remember, I do not talk 'TO' my children, I talk 'WITH' my children. Big difference. And if you don't know the difference, ask me sometime.

We (my family and myself), went to Miami this past weekend, to see our husbands and mine. And the adults got to hang out while the kids did thier thing as well. Granted, we knew where the kids were and with cell phones galore, everyone was just a text message away.

Saturday afternoon, my son and daughter went with a decent sized group to go see the new Star Trek movie (go see it, even if you are not a Trekkie, and take the kids). Well, there was a good friend of my nieces who we have met on more than one occasion and he was being taken home before they all traipsed to the theatre.

Well Mr. Know-It-All, started throwing down the 'F' bomb and the 'N' bomb (reference to black kids, this kid is also black) and my daughter had finally had enough and asked him to stop with the language. Now mind you none of tee other kids, my son included, asked this kid to back off. And form what my daughter said , he was letting them fly like geese going south in the winter.

Do not get me wrong, I can stand toe to toe with the best sailor, but to what end. Is swearing absolutely necessary? My sister thinks it is deserved. She says she is an adult and has no problem with her language. For those who have never met my sister, I fairly warn them. I go back to a snippet of an interview I once saw with Bill Cosby, and he asked Eddie Murphy if he felt it necessary, to throw around the 'F' bomb? Bill wanted to know if the jokes were only funny with that language in it , or could the act stand on its own? Something to think about.

We hear swearing all the time, but do we really need to say those words? Can we not make our point or have conversation without all the colorful language? For some people I think it is an impossibility. It's like the people who like need to say like and they like would not know how to speak and like carry on a conversation without the word like.

You will always be judged by:

1) The company you keep
2) How you dress
3) And you conduct yourself in conversation.

I am so terribly proud of my daughter for standing her ground in a matter that meant something to her. And I told her all afternoon in the car ride on the way home from our afternoon errands.

Go Nana!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

His Logic Is Flawed

OK, so my son gives me $40 a week to contribute to the household expenses, and trust me, he is getting off easy. He does not drive so his father and I have to cart him everywhere. and he just waits for our schedule to mesh with his. No problems.

So today I picked him up from work, he went to the bank to make a deposit and then I had to go for a drug test as a new employee. I knew it would only take a few minutes and we would be home lickity split. So right on cue he hands me the $40 and as we leave the medical lab, he gently reminds me that I wanted to put gas in the van before we scoot down to Miami in the morning.

I inform him to to go in the gas station and tell them the full $40 on pump #7. He comes out and the van does not take thee entire $40. So, he goes back in to retrieve his/my change. He comes out with a $10 bill and he gets in the car, buckles up and begins to put the $10 away. I say, "Hey, that is my change." Strange look clouds my sons face.

"No ti's not, this is mine, I gave you $40 and the rest is mine."

"Uh, no it's not son, you give me $40 every week and I never give you the change, that is what you pay me no matter what I spend it on. Sometimes it is food, gas, or whatever, but the total $40 is always mine. When I pay for produce and the bill is on $30, do I give you the change?" Thoughts rolling through his brain.


"Then there is no difference, it's just this time it is for gas and thee other times it is not."

"Whatever you say." Still a total blank look on his face.**

**For those of you who may not know, my son is a high functioning autistic young man. So many things that your average person picks up easily, takes him longer or sometimes not within his the $40 issue!