Friday, March 13, 2009

I Just Don't Get It

Call me crazy, call me old fashioned, call me a bit over protective. But I hope with all hope that my daughter listens when I talk to her about sex. Yep, you heard right, I am talking about the Big "S" word. Something that was never discussed with me. And that is a distress. For I wish someone would have been as open with me about this very delicate subject as I am with my daughter.

Knowledge is power.

I look at the homes that these kids who become pregnant teens and wonder what is going on in their home. In the case of Bristol Palin, it's as if they are glorifying teenage pregnancy. I could give a few other examples, such as Jamie Spears and I am guessing there are others. But suffice it to say, I am against teenage pregnancy.

We have always talked 'with' our daughter about things concerning life, never to her, and there is a huge difference. I have been in many a home where the parents talk to their children to them as if they are children. And if it is our job to guide them in the direction of adulthood, then by talking with them and not to them, you are solidifying that you now see them as a near equal. Of course I tailor the conversation to their level, but I do not talk down to her. It would benefit no one.

Then there is thee ever popular statement for those who do get pregnant all the same from those of the old school mentality that..."Well he did the right thing." For whom? Let's put things into perspective here. Nine point nine times out of ten the couple in question are rarely if ever in love and it is more a case of being in lust, hence the unwanted pregnancy. For I cannot see the young couple being ecstatic over a pregnancy that was no where in their future. Especially when they are usually planning prom, graduation and a slew of other things, but definitely not a pregnancy, hence the word 'unwanted'.

So, some of the young stallions go off and marry her even though there is not an ounce of love between them, but he is 'doing the right thing'. To what end? To give the child a name? To give him a stable relationship to grow under? I think not. Half of all supposed planned marriages end in divorce. Why? Because so many are not willing to go that extra step in doing what it takes to make it work, and that extra step is sacrifice. People do not want to change, bend, or give up what they had before. Well hello folks, you get married because you want a change. But people say it all the time, "I ain't' changing, let him/her change." Well it takes two to Tango so crap or get off the pot people.

Then they bring in the other equation...a child, and then all hell breaks loose. The child is thrown into day care, so some other shclep can raise their child so they can still both work jobs to keep them in step with the Jones'. When I had to work back in Miami and my little one was still at home, my husband and I maneuvered our schedules so that my mother-in-law would be watching our children a little as possible. He worked two 40 hour jobs, I held down a 40 hour job myself and my husband and I rarely if ever saw one another for about 2 years. Why? Because it was not my mother -in-laws responsibility to raise our children. So we did what...oh yeah, sacrificed. I have seen children dumped at a babysitters home so much that the child sees the sitter as their mother instead of the birth mother. Ya think?

I am also a firm believer of girls not becoming Betty Crocker (Ready to spread frosting). Ever hear of keeping your legs closed? Didn't the parents of these girls tell them that Johnny, Billy, Bobby, Paul and who ever else you can think of will sell you any line he knows you want to hear just to get you to let him in? I have again, told my daughter that sex is a wonderful thing, as long it is with someone you love. It is not one of thee easiest topics for the two of us to discuss, but better from me than form some wise-ass Casanova who will definitely love her and leave her. They, meaning the boys (notice I did not say men) are in it for the sex, women are in it for the love. And yes we are looking for the Harlequin Romance novel style romance. It is rarely out there.

A friend of mine, no more like an acquaintance, nope, actually someone we just tolerate, once told me that there were some movies that depicted premarital/teenage sex in a good light. This person has a son. It is an entirely different ball game when you have a daughter. What good comes of teenage sex? Could someone tell me, for I do not know thee answer. It isn't going to get your daughter accepted, unless you are talking about thee entire football team.

And on the more common chance she does get pregnant, there are movies and shows that are showing as if it is something to be glorified. The new show, My Life as a Pregnant Teenager (hope I got the title correct) shows this girl in an upper middle class family. Come on. How many pregnant teens do any of you know that came from upper middle class? I do not know of all. That is just my point. These girls are being shown as if it is all cutesy tootsy to get pregnant. And that their lives will get right back to normal. WHAT? Who fed them that line of utter crap. That is unless you are dumping junior or juniorette on mom and dads doorstep all the time so you can still go out and party and get this...get some sleep. Yep, you heard right. My sister-in-law left her nearly 2 year old son with her/my mother-in-law (who is kissing 70) just so my 23 year old sister-in-law could get some sleep. Hello, is that not a prerequisite to being a parent, losing sleep. We all did it, but obviously she needs her sleep. And oh yes, she is unemployed. Someone hit me with a stupid stick for I do not get it.

They are willing to sleep around but not deal with the responsibilities that go with their hopping in the sack.

This is why I am an advocate of pro-choice. I do not believe that children should be brought into this world unless they are wanted and into a loving family that wants them here and will do whatever it takes to see to their well being. And there are way too many kids out there having kids just because it is now the cool thing to do. Give me a break. Grow up!


MLM said...

The problem is, abortion only teaches the teenager further responsibility - instead of having to deal with the consequences of their own decision, the consequence is quickly put away so that they do not have to deal with it. This not only encourages a sense of being able to be irresponsible and get away with it, but it also teaches them that human life has no value - as soon as someone becomes inconvenient for your needs, you can simply dispose of them.

Furthermore, an abortion is not a healthy choice for a growing young woman. Abortions often leave severe psychological problems for the girl to deal with - she may suffer depression, sleep disturbances, nervous disorders, or sexual dysfunction. She may also suffer damage to the cervix and uterus. All in all, the choice is not ideal for either the mother or the child, especially when there are much safer alternatives like adoption.

MLM said...