In The End

None of it matters, for it all comes to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, minutes or days. All the things you collected whether it be treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else. your wealth, fame, temporal power, will shrivel to irrelevance.

It will not matter what you owned or owed, your grudges, resentments, frustrations, jealousies, will finally disappear. So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, to-do list will expire. the wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived. It won't matter if you are beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant. So, what will matter?

How will the values of your days be measured? What will not matter is what you bought, but what you built. Now what you got, but what you gave. What will matter, is not your success, but your significance. What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught. What will matter is every act of integrity, courage, compassion or sacrifice that enriched, empowered, or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter, is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you are gone. What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you.
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To say that I find/found this to be profound is a gross understatement. If everyone lived like this, so much of the bad that is lurking in so many places would be gone. But many people live for themselves. The minute you stop doing for you and do for others, your life changes. I know mine has. now, the question is, how far are you willing to go to change your life?

Where's The Fire?

We will all get old...hopefully. With that said, I wonder why people are not more patient with seniors. Yes, I know some of them can be a bit cranky and others just down right pissed off at the world. I know those people are not happy with their lives and feel the need to bring everyone else into their miserable little world. But those people are not the ones I will be referring to.

I recently took my daughter to work, where more than a few seniors come to shop. I have always been a patient person to those with babies and seniors. For I know that one day, hopefully, I too will be old. And I can only hope that someone will be patient with me.

I am also a firm believer in positive thinking and that you will only get back in life what you give. So for those who say, "It's just our luck." Not true. There are no coincidences. You get what you give. And one of my most favorites is, What Goes Around...Comes Around. Now that may come off as a little vengeful, as my daughter so eagerly pointed out. And that may very well be true. But what most folks don't get is that when something goes wrong, you are thee only one who can rectify that situation. Do not sit and blame everyone and their mother on your little miseries. No one wants to hear your whining and no one, for the most part, gives a rats backside.

With that said, let me get back to the incident that got me to put this post up. I was sitting at a 2-way stop and letting my daughter out of the car to get into work. There was an elderly woman trying to cross in front of me to get to the parking lot to get to her car. Fifteen extra seconds of me letting her pass by was not going to make that big a difference. So I waved her to pass in front of my car.

There was another car facing me at the opposing stop sign. He was visibly in a hurry. Even thought I had arrived at the stop sing first and had the right of way, he was already inching up to move through the stop sign. the elderly woman, who had a noticeable limp was doing the best that she could to get across the walkway. But this man was in a Harry Hurry. And as he inched up closer to her, and passing my vehicle, he begin to swear obscenities to her under his breath. But due to the fact that both his window and mine were rolled down, I got a whiff of what he said .

Where was his fire? Where did he have to be that 15 seconds would have effected his getting there. I mean really. Are people that so wrapped up in their lives that they cannot slow down for just a few seconds? Obviously not in this mans case. I just want people to sit and think how we treat others that are not as able bodies as we are. And I mean that literally. I see seniors all the time that have difficulty getting around or even physically handicapped people and it never ceases to amaze me just how insensitive people can be. I mean do you really thing that a mentally/physically handicapped person woke up and thought of ways to tick off the general population? I think not. And yet I see it more often then I care to admit, that many a folk who want these people moved or removed out of their way. Sad.

I think if Rod Serling could take folks like that (thee impatient ones or intolerable ones) and just set them into a situation they are perpetuating, they may see things a bit differently. If only for an hour, day in the life of someone you have no patience for, just to see how it is like in their world. then maybe we would have a more passive human race.

My Best Nanny Memory

Edit In: I was supposed to have saved this post and added on, but somehow it got published. Must have hit the wrong button. I am adding the story that made my nanny the best grandmother ever. Read on.

For those who have not had the pleasure of grand-parents (and good ones at that), you do not know what you are missing.

My nanny is my mother's mother. She was in-your-face, up front, blunt, brusque, abrupt, but I loved her. And even as a child, I knew she was someone to be reckoned with. People looked at her with a sort of reverence. If she liked/loved you, then you were good. But cross her...and watch out. Fell the wrath of Emily Grace Strayer.

Nanny and I had to go 'In to town' as those who live din the boonies called it. That meant that you either went to Okeechobee or you went to West Palm Beach. This day was WPB. Nanny had some flats of vegetables to pick up and a plethora of other things to do while there, for you did not go 'in to town' all that often, so you made the best of your time there. And we did.

Well, it was getting on to lunchtime and we were both starving. I was about 10-12ish at the time and just worshiped my Nanny. In my eyes, she could do no wrong. We needed to grab lunch somewhere...anywhere. I, of course, had no money. Heck, I was 10 years old, and even if I did, I would not share it with anyone. No way no how.

Now, for those of you who are old enough, you may remember thee older cars and how the dashboards were metal. That way your parents or grandparents could buy those magnetic trays that stuck onto the dashboards. Everything got thrown in there. Anything form match books, to loose charge and the such. Well, I had looked in my nanny's wallet, as per her instructions, to look for money for lunch. I did as I was asked, but found not one bit of money.

I looked, and looked again and then I relooked again. Still nothing. So I went to digging in the magnetic tray on her dashboard. I was able to scrape up enough change that I remember totalling up to less that $1.00. Now, back in those days, we could have purchased a small soda and small fry and that would have held us over until we got back home. We resigned to the fact we would have to share those food items.

But I took one more stab at looking for money in my nanny's wallet. I pulled out photos and special documents. And behold, I let out a blood curdling scream. My grandmother's reply was, "How much did you find?" She knew I was not in any pain, or had been bitten by some odd insect. She knew I had fond gold in them there hills. It was a $10 bill and we were able to feast on a Whopper, fries and shake at Burger King.

Back then it was a treat to eat at a fast food joint. Now it is common place and just a bunch of crap these companies try to call food. That s another post entirely. But suffice it to say, that is a day that is branded into my memory forever and ever. Thank you Nanny and rest in peace.

It's Just A Wave

For those of you who may not know or remember, I had major spinal surgery in the summer of 2008. That was a harrowing experience to say the least. Then add a nearly one year long recovery...well you can see how fun that year was.

With that said. Thee only rehabilitation they wanted me to do was walking, yes, walking. For walking strengthens your core and what is your spinal column? Oh yeah, the core to your very being. And if you think you what your back/spinal cord does for you, then have back surgery. You will then realize that your back controls everything you do.

I have been pretty darned steadfast in my keeping up on my walking. I try to get out at lease five days a week and due to the fact that I have a pooch to keep healthy, it is a great symbiont relationship and it is a win win for the both of us.

But there is a group of us exercisers that work out in our own little neck of this neighborhood. That includes walkers (with and without dogs), bikers (and I am not referring to the Harley-Davidson type either) and runners. It seems to be an unwritten credo to just greet one another, whether it be a simple hello, a 'Hi, how are you?', or something to that effect, it usually gets said. But there are cars that pass us by on their way to work as well. With their windows rolled up, air conditioning cranking, there is no way to greet these folks. But alas...there is.

I grew up in a family that camped. We dragged our pull along pop-up camper behind a Volkswagen van and camped in there and we also used a tiny little two-sleeper tent. We loved it. But what I think I loved most about the camping experience was the friendliness of the fellow campers. They always had a kind word, or would offer their help when needed, and if passed when walking or biking, there was always a friendly wave...no words needed.

So I took up this practice in my walking routine. I wave to all vehicles that cross my path. Now I know that a majority of them are shaking their heads that some whacko lady is waving to a complete stranger. But I heard recently, that a stranger is just a friend we haven't met yet. Now I will grant you that I may not invite these people to my Thanksgiving dinner table, but I may just be planting a seed of kindness into their brains. And how knows, I could be cultivating a new breed of people who will soon be known as Waver's.

I Will Be A Squirrel

I was in the kitchen last night with my daughter and husband as my daughter and I were putting the final touches on dinner before sitting down to eat, when my daughter breaks out into a story from work. For those of you who may not know, she has just gotten a job at a local supermarket as a bag girl. Being a minor she will still have to adhere to the specific hours until she turns sixteen.

She begins the story by saying that a senior man came through the line she was bagging for and he had quite a few bags of peanuts. My daughter being the very observant person and knowledgeable in the kitchen, she asked the gentleman if he was going to go home and make boiled peanuts. He looked to her and said, "No, I am taking these home for the squirrel in my yard."

My daughter, being a vegetarian and animal lover thought that was a sweet thing for him to do. But it did not stop there. He explained to her why he feeds this particular squirrel. You see, his wife died recently and as she was dying, she told her husband that she would come back as a squirrel. So on his first trip out of the house after she died, he was returning home from some errand, and there was a squirrel in his driveway. He knew in his heart that this was his wife letting him know that she was still with him.

Who's to say. No one has proof otherwise. So I say let him think what he wants if it helps him get through the day. If he wants to think she is a potato peeler, it is his prerogative.

I sat there listening to my daughter tell the story and my eyes welled up with teas, knowing that some day either me or my husband will be alone. And that thoughts scares the living crap out of me.

It's not that he or I could not function without one another, for we could. And yes, it would be an adjustment, but I cannot imagine the loneliness. I enjoy sitting with my husbands on the mornings we have together and sit and talk about current events...or not. Talk about the weather or what is a five letter word for fowl that begins with an "R". Those things are better shared with someone. I feel for people who have not found that special someone, for whatever reason. To live out your final years alone. To me that would the worst.

Kids grow up and make their own lives. It's not that you are no longer important, it's just they have made their own lives and have to do the same things you did years before.

I hope that this man is happy knowing that he is keeping his wife fed. Because in thee end, isn't it the thought that counts?

Excuses, Excuses

How many ways can you think of making an excuse for what you need to do in your life? Here, let me help you out on this one:

1) I'm too busy

2) I'm too old

3) I'm too fat

4) I'm too scared

5) I'm to scared it will take too long

6) It's going to be too difficult


That is just the tip of thee iceberg for many of us who procrastinate on doing things that either we want to do or need to do. I am guilty as the next person. I have been needing to organize my paper piles for weeks, but there they still sit. And yet I seem to find time to watch an hour of recorded TV. So where's my excuse? There isn't any. It is just my own laziness. And I have no problem admitting it. But for more of us then we carry to admit, we seem to find excuses. And 9 times out of 10 they all have a negative angle to them...imagine that.


What we need to do and not all at once, is find out what it is in our lives that we want to tackle first. Is that letter writing we want to get started. Fine, then write a list of who you want to write to and when that letter is gone, cross them off your list. There is nothing more rewarding that to see your to do list grow shorter and shorter.


Maybe it's start your new eating lifestyle. Well then, tackle one aspect of your eating habits that ticks you off and work on that one fault, the others will follow. Most people cannot jump right in with both feet. Find what works for you and take it one step at a time.


You want to add exercise to your daily routine, then do it. Walk to thee end of the block. Laugh if you will but that may be allot for many folks. Once that becomes easy then add more as your body tells you. Listen to yourself and your body, you are your own best advocate.


Thee excuses you see printed up in the beginning of the post were from Wayne Dyers new book and I found an interview in the Natural Awakenings magazine that I get from my local health food store. He tackles so many issues in just this tiny blurb that I am enticed to go to the library and check out the book.


I love anything that will guide me in a direction to better myself. And we all could use improvement, but are we willing to admit it?

Don't Get Involved

I had an experience years ago before I had children. So that puts it at 20 years plus.

My husband and I had our own business at the time and it was a mobile business...literally. We had a mobile dog grooming business. And we were on the road at the time this incident occurred and in the middle of morning traffic. Granted, we were not on a major highway or freeway, but it was still a crowded street all the same.

We were sitting in traffic, or possibly at a red light, but whatever the case, we were not moving. Then I heard someone, a female yelling for help. I turned in my seat and saw her running, like she was running from something. It turned out to be a someone. She kept yelling for help and no one would assist her. I turned and then saw who she was running from. It was a male figure. Most more than likely her significant other. Whether he had been a friend, lover, relative, he was after her and with a vengeance.

I then asked my husband to let us take her in our work van and get her to the nearest police station, our appointments be damned. But he said no without a moments hesitation. Right then and there my entire outlook toward my husband changed. A part of me died inside. How could he do that? Just swat this woman away who was evidently in need of help. And what if that had been me running from someone or something and he was not there to help me out and the entire world turned a deaf ear? How would he have felt then? He would have been pisssed off at the fact that no one took the time to help his wife when she needed someone the most.

My husband has done a 180 in his life since that time. But it still dwells inside of me and when I look back on it, I get all choked up inside and a knot forms in the pit of my stomach. How can anyone be so callous? And how have we gotten that way? What has changed us so much in the last century or so to make us look away, as if things were not happening under our noses.

Case in point, the case with the kidnapping of Jaycee Dugard. It's not the kidnapping I ma here to talk about, it is those who probably knew something was amiss and did not follow their gut instincts. They chose not to get involved. That say by thinking if they were wrong and called the authorities, then made a mistake, how would that neighbor see them? But usually our gut instincts are correct, they are there for a reason. They are our alarm, our warning system, if you will.

I enjoy helping my fellowman, and possibly to a fault. And every now and then my husband falls back on his old way of thinking and says we need to look our for ourselves first. And I will not deny him that. If I had to do for my children over anyone else, my children will always win. But right after that I do not mind helping others as long as we are not taken advantage of, but that is a different post. I am under the guise that you will only get back what you give. And there are those who think it is all about financial help. That could not be further from the truth. There is much more to giving that just opening your wallet. Open your heart. Open your mind and see what you can do once you let yourself get involved with others. It does the body good.