Saturday, July 5, 2008

Giving Up

This post is so not going to be about anything you think this title may lead you to believe. *rubs hands together*

I was recently talking to a friend of mine, and we were discussing how I will be handling everything in my life once I return home from the hospital. She meant cleaning, food and such forth. I told her I would be in Miami for the hospital stay(That being a given), then at my sisters for about another week, then home where hubby would have a week off before heading back to work, then mother-in-law is two blocks away if there were a dire emergency. Then once hubby goes back to work, there are women in my home schooling group who will be coming with meals and cleaning crews. So I will be taken care of for a while.

She offered to bring her signature dish...Chicken Caccitiatore. I told her that would be a welcome offer, but that my daughter Savanah would not be able to eat it and fend for herself that night. she then, politely as she possibly could told me that 'Maybe your daughter should set aside her beliefs and take what she can get until you get better.' I politely told, 'I don't think so, she is set in her convictions and I stand by her and she can manage on eggs for a night or two.'

It didn't hit me until a day later(Why do you always find the snappy comebacks when you are not in the heat of the conversation) something came to me. What if I had told her to set aside her Christan beliefs just long enough to watch an 'R' rated movie that went against what she believed in. Would she have done that? I think not. so why should my daughter do what she would never consider, just because it deals with food. *Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth* Where do people come up with this stuff. I couldn't make this up if I wanted to.


Permission to Mother should be studying said...

That is interesting.

Tofu Caccitiatore anyone?

Freakmom said...

Would she have asked her to set aside her food allergies if she wanted to bring peanut sauce to someone with an allergy? That's nuts! She doesn't eat meat, so she'll eat something else. Get over it lady, not everyone will want your "signature" dish.

Last night we were at a cookout. Mr. Incredible doesn't eat meat. The hostess had forgotten. It was wonderful that they didn't go to the trouble to make "special" food for him. He ate sides then a veggie burger at home. He was fine and enjoyed the company at the party.

Chile said...

Food is extremely personal to people, much like religion. Since we became vegan, we have discovered that people perceive our not eating their food as a rejection of them personally. It is very hard to get them to understand. Since we became vegan for health reasons primarily, it is a little easier to say, "It looks and smells wonderful, but I just can't eat it. I seem to get sick whenever I eat (fill in the blank...)." This is less threatening to folks than the ethical arguments. Preaching or getting on a soapbox will just confirm most people's belief that vegetarians are very unreasonable people.

Orlando Realtor said...

I will guess that I am a good bit older then you. I never claim to know everything.....heck I would be happy some days to be right about some things.

Through experience and alot of hurt and frustration, I have come to accept that most people speak without thinking, do not know what they are talking about and really do not warrant the energy that we spend on them.

When making a totally stupid comment as that one is, it is their problem not yours!

Stay focused on what is and your family.

Jack said...

Please tell me it's someone we have in common so I can laugh really loud! At least, I'm hoping it's her!!!!!

Synia said...

Some people just don't understand! You had the right response though. Bravo to you for not getting upset with her.

Tam said...

Many times I think it is people just trying to show that they love us. And they have learned to love with food;) It kind of hurts their feelings I think when we reject their love offering. But we are not rejecting them! Just the food they are offering us. People who I have felt the most love from are those who are just accepting and have even tried to make me something I would eat.

There have been times people have tried really hard to make me some cookies or something that to them would be very healthy but something that I would not eat. I don't usually have the heart to tell them. I accept their gift and thank them for their thoughtfulness then my husband usually ends up taking the treat to work to give to his employees! As they get to know us better they start to have a better understanding of where we are comming from and will sometimes ask questions or even ask for recipes;)

Lee William said...

I frequently think of a witty comeback ..days later ..I think that's because I'm busy processing something at the moment that caught me off-guard

SabrinaT said...

My oldest is in a no meat phase. His father and I are supporting him..
I always think of witty things to say a day late!

Tara B. said...

Yes, people can be a bit rude when it comes to a persons vegetarianism/veganism... We get it all the time.

For my son, his vegetarianism IS part of his religious belief system and it would be asking him to set aside his Christianity to ask him to set aside his vegetarian beliefs, as to him they are one in the same!

Nikki Douglas said...

My vegetarianism is part of my Buddhist beliefs as well as my strong ethical stand against animal cruelty. For many people vegetarianism makes them feel bad, like you are challenging them or calling them out. My soon to be sister in law reacted very hostilely a few nights ago when we went out to eat and she had a meat burrito. ALl I said was - do you like your burriot and she snapped back at me asking me if that was some kind of vegetarian taunt. It was very bizarre.